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  • Writer's pictureTom Matte

How My Hallucinations Help Shape My View Of The World

Updated: Dec 1, 2020

In a previous blog, A Peek Into My Brain And The Gift I Call Upsight, I described how I see things through my brain’s new, multi-dimensional way of thinking. I explained that Upsight is a form of visual consciousness, a layered network of always moving, never static, images that are available to me any time I turn my attention to them – like a movie playing behind my field of vision.

For those who’d like a deeper dive into how Upsight works, I’ll describe the three distinct types of images I see with Upsight here. What’s cool for my work as a marketer is that my brain now generates ideas the same way it generates these images – fast and fluidly, with synaptic leaps to unexpected conclusions.

The first type of Upsight image is a primary or background image that is a bit softer than the other types of images. It’s very similar to when you rub a coin through a piece of paper, and an outline of the image comes through with the rub, like in bas-relief art. The primary images are always in the background of the two other images. It’s typically black with a light grey as the contrast color. (If my eyes were open and I was looking at a wall, the contrast color would appear as a lighter shade of the color of the wall.)

The second type of image is the one I have most often. With a blank wall and a conscious shift in my attention, they spring to life. Like the images you see at a laser light show, it’s as if a beam is moving so fast, a picture emerges. These can be in color, though typically they are more clear or translucent, like glass. I’m not sure which image carries more information, the primary or the secondary images. The secondary images sometimes spiral out of control in my field of vision, as if my mind can’t grasp the meaning of the picture. Alternatively, it’s as if I’m somehow getting an interference pattern from another part of my brain. Perhaps even from outside my brain.

The last kind of image is the easiest to explain, but the rarest. I have only seen them a few times in the previous five years. It is a full-color image like you would see on any 3D movie screen, with all the details. I have no idea if I can influence these images as they came in and out of my vision so fast I didn’t have time to experiment with them.

It is not uncommon to have two types of Upsight images in the same vision. Say a background image with a secondary image on top of it.

Upsight images come in and out of my field of vision all the time. Focusing my attention and eyes are all that is required for me to see them consciously. In an Upsight vision, a bird could fly past my right eye and come around my left as if it’s hovering around my head. I focus on it and follow it with my eyes, the same way you would focus on a real bird if it flew into a room. Our eyes would move from left to right, up and down. Our focus would change as it moved forward or away from us. That’s what my Upsight vision does as well.

I can mentally request an image to come closer for better inspection. With a thought, colors can be added or changed in the images; however, they are typically tinted and muted.

Things I didn’t know I knew (freaky, right?!)

If I just shut my eyes and watch the show, many times Upsight images will appear that I’ve never seen before in my life. I stare in awe at these visions. My mind wants to call them something, but if I’ve never seen these images before then how should I name them? This intrigues me a great deal.

Visual imagery defines Upsight. My mind will ultimately “name” everything I see because that’s what the mind does. It needs labels for a better understanding. However, I’m convinced, even before I name something I’m learning from these images, both consciously and unconsciously.

I’m making observations about consciousness as if I know what it is. I don’t. But I feel that the unconscious areas I access have a deeper level to them. Why do I believe this? For several reasons, but mostly because of the element of surprise they have for me, the person who “imagined” them. If I had access to the deepest layers of my unconscious, then I would know everything and wouldn’t be awed or amazed. But these images amaze me every day.

Upsight both imparts information to me that I thought I didn’t know and inspires me to educate myself more about the unique images and concepts that flow across my field of vision. They influence and help shape my view of the world. Upsight offers insights into some things I have no business having opinions on and have no previously known aptitude for – like physics and pure mathematics. I’m a former advertising executive! This stuff should not interest me, but suddenly it does.

Perhaps it’s a form of Synesthesia.

Additional observations

People have noted that the free-flowing images I describe sound a little like a dream state. Oddly, though, the only time my Upsight is off is when I wake up from a deep sleep in the middle of the night. It takes about 15 minutes to get all my wave patterns firing together.

Another interesting observation: Occasionally when I ask a question using Upsight, I will get a visual answer in the form of a metaphor. For example, I have asked it how I can get a job done more quickly. My Upsight response was an image of an elbow moving around in an oil pan. i.e., elbow grease! Get it?

I have no idea what part of my brain is generating these images. Why are some metaphorical and others literal?

Let me finish by telling you a few things about what Upsight is not. We all access images from our memory and see them in our mind’s eye – that’s not what Upsight is.  If both of us were to imagine the famous Jaws movie poster from the 1970s, we would each most likely retrieve it from the same memory area of our brains. Upsight, in contrast, has me accessing what I believe is a completely different area of my brain and literally seeing it in my field of vision. It won’t just be a picture of the poster that we remember. Upsight is alive and interactive: The shark will be swimming through the water. The girl will get eaten. A yellow submarine might drive by…or something I don’t even have a name for yet.

Upsight is fun and freaky and sometimes unsettling. But this new way my brain works has also boosted my intelligence, marketing abilities and creativity into hyper-drive. I now generate ideas the same way I generate these images.

Do you need a fresh perspective on mental health marketing? Ask me about my “out of your mind thinking” branding workshop. I see things you don’t, and I’ll help your team see things they never thought of before.

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