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Why I Wrote "Jesus Goes To Hollywood: A Memoir Of Madness"

Updated: Jun 17



You should read this book if you’ve given up hope on a loved one suffering from addiction and/or a mental illness. If I found a way back, perhaps, they can too.or that matter.

The short answer is because this story is bigger than me.

This is my journey, but it’s also a story about how this country treats its most vulnerable and mentally ill citizens. My perspective is unique in that it’s very unusual for a person to come back from believing they’re Jesus. Once that particular Rubicon is crossed, typically it’s all down hill from there. Or, at best, maintenance on psych meds and continued mental health care. Not for me. I was lucky. By the grace of God my mind healed…and somehow evolved. I recognized my delusional thinking and found a way back. It took time. Not to mention staying off cocaine. But I’m better. I have been for over 7 years now. Thinking I was Jesus is arguably one of the least interesting things about my mental health journey. But it’s an important one to include.


There are a hundreds of addiction recovery stories to be found online and at bookstores. This book is different. Yes, addiction was the catalyst that caused my mind to break, but there were other physiological causes as well. Things I’m still trying to understand. Like I said, my brain evolved. The way it works fundamentally changed during and after my mental health crisis. I’m working with a neuroscientist now and looking for a team of others. I want to find the right researchers so we can learn how my brain/mind can manifests these dimension breaking hallucinations that I discuss in the book. I’m convinced a breakthrough in understanding what happened to my brain can translate into a breakthrough in understand ALL of our brains. The mentally healthy and the mentally ill. That’s why I wrote this book.


Why you should read this book.

, but it’s also a story about how this country treats its most vulnerable and mentally ill citizens. My perspective is unique in that it’s very unusual for a person to come back from believing they’re Jesus. Once that particular Rubicon is crossed, typically it’s all downhill from there. Or, at best, maintenance on psych meds and continued mental health care. Not for me. I was lucky. By the grace of God my mind healed…and somehow evolved. I recognized my delusional thinking and found a way back. It took time. Not to mention staying off cocaine. But I’m better. I have been for over 7 years now. Thinking I was Jesus is arguably one of the least interesting things about my mental health journey. But it’s an important one to include.

You should read this book, if you’ve given up hope on a loved one suffering from addiction and/or a mental illness. If I found a way back, perhaps, they can too.


You should read this book if you’ve given up on yourself. I found my way back, perhaps, you can too.


You should read this book if you’re a clinician dealing with the mentally ill. I bring some insights into our thinking that they may not have taught in medical school.


You should read this book if you work in the addiction field or in addiction medicine.


You should read this book if you like origin stories.


Most importantly, you should read this book to be entertained. I know this is a fucked up journey. I know I should be dead. But I’m not. I’m still here. There has to be a reason. Getting my story out is one of them.


Enjoy the ride.

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© 2020 Tom Matte